So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
