I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
