FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
