I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
