Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
