This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Boobs speak an international language.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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