Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
