I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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