When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
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I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
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Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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