dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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