I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
