i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
ugly people sure do ruin things
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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