It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
