how can u be prego again
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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