He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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