Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
