literally had 100 drinks last night.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
