I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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