I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize