Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
