I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
