I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
