my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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