My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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