my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So gin and wine won't be happening again
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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