the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
