some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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