Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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