Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
