He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
