Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
