Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
