Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
