I think i sorta joined a cult last night
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
