if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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