oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
