I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
