Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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