just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
