I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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