why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
