Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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