I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
