i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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