so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
worst night to have a conscience
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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