when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
