I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I didn't shave. On purpose
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
