No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize