why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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