Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
