First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
