it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
