Pants 0. Shit 1.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
