So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
