whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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