about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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