Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
