Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
