you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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