why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
