I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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