You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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