I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
