whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
