he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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